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Um, Talib (if by chance you are listening), your conduct here is actually a primer in “How Not To Be An Ally.”What do you think?

I know you may stop listening at this point since you probably perceive my tone not to be loving, but if you do continue to read, here are a few pointers on how to be a real male ally in hip-hop:
1.) Let the women have the mic. Rick Ross disrespected all women, and particularly Black and Brown women, in this situation. Black and Brown women have the right to command the space, to “get on the mic” if you will, and speak our peace, without you yanking it back cuz you don’t like what we’re spitting. In other words, if you should find yourself yelling at one of the injured parties, just know that something has gone woefully awry. Check it before you wreck it, ya heard?
2.) Don’t mansplain. Telling Rosa Clemente that the “smarter move” is to embrace Rick Ross with love assumes that Black women’s contribution to the conversation is emotional, not logical. But I hope it is abundantly clear that you were the one all in your feelings in that convo. We’ve been conditioned not to see it when men get defensive and emotional, cuz y’all usually signal that by telling women that we’re the ones who aren’t being “smart” or “logical.” But I call bullshit for bullshit. Despite what you said to dream hampton on Twitter, “your outrage clouded” your judgment.
3.) Don’t invoke the tone argument. You expected Rosa to listen to you, even though your tone wasn’t loving. You were offended, and you felt the right to communicate that offense and be heard. Why not Black women? If someone is standing on my fucking foot, I don’t have to ask them nicely to move. Like the Queen (Latifah, that is) said 20 years ago, “a man don’t love ya, if he hits ya,” or rapes ya, or raps about raping ya. To ask me to love somebody who ain’t even remotely interested in trying to love me back, either means you think Black women are Jesus or fools. To demand more love when all Black women do is give love is at best woeful misrecognition and worst an egregious show of male arrogance.
4.) Interrogate your privilege. You may be a progressive man in hip-hop, but you are still a man who moves through the world with male privilege. And what you did in that conversation and the subsequent conversation on Twitter was communicate from the space of that male privilege. You told Rosa that she didn’t get to determine who was in and out of hip-hop, though she has paid her dues in the culture just like you. And then you told her who was in. Period. The end. That’s not being an ally. That’s being minister of information for the Ol Boys’ Club.
5.) Recognize that you don’t get to tell us how to be our ally; we get to tell you. And if the fact that you don’t have the power to determine the bounds of your allyship make you uncomfortable, then you have found the primary place of your problem. We get to determine who our allies are. Not you. Your primary job as an ally is to listen, and then be a megaphone, not a microphone. Your job is to amplify what we’re saying so other folks can hear it, and have our back if something pops off. If the folks you are attempting to help or be in alliance with tell you that they are feeling unsupported, then that might mean there is a problem with the support you are offering rather than a problem with the demands they are making. (For a far better explication of this principle, check out this good work from our friends over at Shakesville.)

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"Only the black woman can say, ‘When and where I enter… then and there the whole race enters with me.’’"

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I’d be a fool and a hypocrite to even suggest that I’m deeply familiar with every black woman intellectual or that, when it comes to black women’s experiences, I’m somehow omniscient. This is noted in order to highlight the systemic problem that exists. My sistas are continually being stripped of their bodily autonomy, the respect they deserve and their seat at the table. They are expected to construct and re-construct their lives around the superficial desires of their male counterparts and the insensitive impositions of white communities. And, it all boils down to the absurd refusal to believe that black women are human and that the value of their humanity is not degraded by virtue of the fact that they have been born both female and black. They are here; they are “doing their work”; and, they are changing the world.

I do not write this article as a “Renaissance Man” of Morehouse. I write this as a man lucky enough to go to a school that is in such close proximity to the intellectual energy of the women of Spelman College and Clark Atlanta University. I write this as a man inspired by the resilience of Sista-Gods like Ida B. Wells, Ella Baker and Toni Morrison. I write this as a side-kick and friend to sister-scholar-activists who could talk circles around me any day about Politics, Math, English or Philosophy. I write this as the best friend of a woman whose swagger and charisma puts my pimp card to shame. I write this as a student of Dr. Beverley Guy-Shefthall’s feminist theory class. And, most of all, I write this as the son, grandson, godson, nephew and cousin of phenomenal black women. You inspire me to be a better person. You are the wielders of truth and the bearers of life. You are extraordinary.

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When Quvenzhané Wallis was called that horrible word and Black feminists rushed to fill the vast social media space with righteous indignation and even a love letter letting her know that she is cherished, valued, and worthy of protection, we fought that battle alone. Even Baratunde R. Thurston, comedian and author of How To Be Black, defended his former employers. While he made it clear that he would stay out of the fray, he peeped his head in juuuuuust long enough to let us know that though he felt bad for Quvenzhané and her family, The Onion deleting the tweet was kind of a huge deal.

Oh, well, that’s just swell! We’ll just grab our tampons, Afro picks and anger, and be on our way.

^See what I did there? That’s satire.

As the layers of this incident continue to unfold, Black feminists have been accused by misogynists of irrationalism in the face of microaggression and ignorance in the face of satire apparently so sophisticated that it floats just beyond our comprehension. And during this condescending exercise in privilege, white feminists have largely remained silent. That is the travesty here. We can all take the outcry over Rush Limbaugh calling Sandra Fluke a “slut” all the way to the White House, but a 9-year-old Black girl can’t even get the support of white feminists in 140 characters or less.

Though I’m sure I will be called divisive for examining the very large cat that has apparently grabbed the tongues of self-proclaimed feminist organizations and torch-bearers who would have essentially stormed the Bastille if any young, white girl had “playfully” been called a “cunt” in front of millions of people, I’m perfectly fine with that. In fact, I embrace it. Feminism is the flawed solution to a very complex equation, and to get to the root of any complex equation, one must divide. Unfortunately, it’s becoming increasingly evident that some people don’t want us to divide because then we’ll realize something isn’t quite adding up.

Shirley Chisholm once said that ”the emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says, “It’s a girl.”

For Black women, go ahead and add racial objectification to the list. And if the case of a 9-year-old Black girl has taught us anything, it’s that when it comes to combating intersecting cases of racism and sexism, don’t be surprised if we’re all we got.

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Black women are among the most steadfastly religious groups in the nation, yet it is precisely because they receive the brunt of sexualized racist stereotyping and objectification that they have become more vocal in atheist organizing. In addition, black women non-believers are continuing a long tradition (ironically fostered in the Black Church and other religious civic and charitable organizations) of community organizing and outreach. And, like their religious foremothers, they are encountering some of the same sexist opposition and resistance to women’s leadership:

I believe women are at the forefront…because we’re willing to stand up and take the hit. There are quite a few men out there that could stand up but they’re not. I often detect some anti-feminist resentment that won’t respect what I have to say. One of the gentlemen in my group will say the same thing I have to say and he will be respected and I won’t. We still have the same patriarchal mindset as those in the religious community.

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"Black feminist pedagogy is designed to raise the political consciousness of students by introducing a worldview with an afocentric orientation to reality, and the inclusion of gender and patriarchy as central to an understanding of all historical phenomena."

"You don’t have to be anti-man to be pro-woman"